PUNISHMENT VS DISCIPLINE
If love was enough in raising our children, there would be no problems in the families. But obviously it isn’t enough. Education also meas patience, persistence, respect and the ability to deal with conflicts. Parenting shouldn’t be played by ear. It is something that everyone should be taught. Otherwise how can we teach our children lessons when they do something wrong and break the rules? It takes time, experience and wisdom to understand the discipline and not punishment should be the keyword when it comes to our children’s behavior.
Our idea of a good child is Babel. This fundamental truth leads to frustrations, conflicts and mutual accusations. And when parents haven’t established to agree on the child’s discipline then this is a wrong start.
First of all responsibilities should be clearly assigned, rules must not be absurd and words like `ultimate mistake` shouldn’t exist. A child who is not breaking windows or mirrors as a habit should not be punished. Mistakes should be scaled upon importance: serious, ordinary and silly. The list changes with the age as bigger children are able to understand better. Make sure your child understands that rules are made for a good reason and for his own benefit and this shouldn’t turn into a detective movie on either side. If it does, then the `delinquent` gets to suffer for his disobedience. But parents are not to put into practice some odd techniques previously seen on TV. They should both relate to the problems in the same way when it comes to children. That doesn’t mean two hours of lectures instead of one or one lecture and then two hours of hugs and kisses.
Physical punishment has been debated for a long time by specialists. Most of them say this is a reaction of weakness, impatience and reasoning. If an adult hits a child then he refuses to behave like an adult. He gives in to impulse. Others say that there is a difference between `hitting` and `physical correction` but those who considered both as abuse contradicted them. It’s up to parents to find a common ground as long as the child’s welfare is the priority.
One thing is for sure: the child must be forgiven and the mistake forgotten after punishment, talking and apologizing. Balance things and don’t overreact in discipline. And never bring any mistake back into discussion once the hatchet had been buried.